The Top Ten Things I Wish I Could Say!

I actually got this idea from a friend of a friends blog. She has 5 children and posts a "Top Ten" every week. With 5 children, I can only imagine all the material she gets through-out the week. After I saw her posts, I realized that I had a few Top Tens myself. So, here's my "Top Ten Things I Wish I Could Say!" Hope you get a laugh!

# 1 To the bus driver who chooses to “Beep, Beep, Beep!” as he backs-up in front of my house every morning at 6:40 AM and wakes Brenna up, instead of driving the 10^th of a mile it take to make the cul-de-sac, I would like to say that I will be sitting at your bedroom window at 6:40 AM with a bull-horn on the first day of Summer!

# 2 To the creator of the bendy straw I would like to say “Thank you! Your creative and unparalleled genius not only carried the “cup with a lid” to an all new kid-friendly height, but the multiple colors provide my child with a learning opportunity as we go through each straw in search of her favorite color. P.S. Pleeaassee put more pink straws in the pack, it would save me at least 5 minutes on lunch!”

# 3 To the manufactures of all juice boxes I would like to say “I’m an engineer, I’m certain that you can manufacture a child’s juice box that doesn’t result in fruit punch all over everything upon first squeeze. It’s called air space!!!! Try it!!!! Mom’s everywhere will love you for it!”

# 4 To the restaurant server who always takes away Brenna’s serving ware I’d like to say “Please, she’s a child, not a chimp! We practice manners and eat with our forks and spoons, not our fingers and toes! Can we please have that back?”

# 5 To all the people who insist that Brenna looks like Dora the Explorer I would like to say “Yes, I can see that she has short hair! You don’t have to remind me that it won’t grow! We may be from Texas, but we’re not Hispanic and we don’t speak Spanish! Get your races right, she’s Asian! Or at least half!”

# 6 To the woman who was shocked to see that Brenna could read at 2.5 years old, I would like to say “Don’t get excited, she only reads the words that mean to most to her “Sesame Street” and “Chick-fil-A”. Mama and Daddy aren’t even recognizable.

# 7 To the woman who asked me how long I’ve had Brenna, I answered “Since she was born.” She then asked “Does she speak English?” to which I should have responded “No, we speak Wookiee! We’re from the Outer Rim! Really, are you that stupid????”” (that’s for all you Star Wars fans!)

# 8 To Jim Henson I would like to say “Big thumbs up, Dude!” Anyone who can provide the creativity, imagination, and ingenuity that you have and dedicate it to helping educate children, Rocks! As Brenna is a #1 fan of Sesame Street, now we’ve also discovered Sid the Science Kid!!! Because of Jim Henson, my 2 year old educated me about the rolley polley in our back yard “It’s a Crustacean, Mama!” Jim, you’ve got one “Super Duper Snuper Big Idea!” (you gotta watch the show to get it!)

# 9 To the repeated question of “Is she adopted?” that I get constantly while out with Brenna alone I would like to say “Adoption is a beautiful thing. And while adoption did play a factor in the reason she is here, I grew her myself, and would like to get credit for the brown hair!!!!!! Please, it’s all I have!!!!!”

#10 To all you family and friends out there reading this I would like to say “Please don’t take this list as a reflection of my child-rearing skills.” If I manage to get Brenna to brush her teeth, keep cloths on for at least 22 out of 24 hours, and eat something other than oreo’s and potato chips, I consider the day a success! On a scale of “Sane” to “Crazy” our family sits somewhere in the middle near “Comical”! Laughter is really the only way to survive parenting.